Your Big, Beautiful, Messy Life

Yesterday, my husband and I went to a party.  A PARTY!  After fourteen months at home, it felt so strange to dress up, pick up my purse, tell the kids to order Chipotle, and jump in the car.  All the guests were fully vaccinated, and it was a small, outdoor Kentucky Derby party.  But it still felt strange.  And wonderful.

Someone there asked me what I do. Of course. Maybe one day I'll write another post about how I've forgotten how to do small talk, and I'm not sure I want to remember how.  I might be done with small talk.

Anyway, after I explained that I'm a health coach and a life coach, he said, "So, you like, tell people what to eat and stuff?"  I said, no, I don't put people on programs. I help people get clear on their goals and change their habits to reach those goals.  I also mentioned that the vast majority of people who come to me for health coaching really end up here for life coaching.  Which includes health, of course, but also so many other things.  "Oh. So, helping people get their $h!t together?"  Nope.  Not that either.  But at least we weren't doing small talk anymore.

And it did get me thinking. When you work with a coach, you're not being told what to do.  You're being guided to open up to possibility.  Your possibilities.  

When I was in my early 30s, I was at my gynecologist's office, of all places, complaining to her about my job.  I was there because my husband and I had recently decided to start a family.  And somehow I ended up talking about how what I thought was important had changed.  I didn't hate practicing law, but I felt a little like I was going through the motions.  She said, "You know what you need?  A life coach!"  I was like, a WHAT?! That sounds ridiculous.  Especially in 2002, when there weren't many coaches around.  The industry, as you know, has since taken off.

Do I wish I had taken her advice? Maybe.  But my wonderful life had a way of helping me along.  Intuition kicked in when I needed it.  I made mistakes.  I made just as many wonderful choices. Plus, complex relationships, cancer, children, a global pandemic, for God's sake . . . these things all served me well in their own way. 

So what's a coach?  A coach is the person who will ask you questions to help you pause and hear your intuition.  To open your heart.  To be vulnerable.  To set boundaries.  To seek all the things your heart desires, while walking that delicious fine line between loving and caring for yourself, while loving and caring for your neighbor and your community.  To drop the limiting beliefs and silence the vicious self-talk.  To dream big and be present for the small. 

It doesn't mean life won't bring you heartache and struggle.  But you'll be able to face it, to lean on yourself and the people who love you, and to use those moments to build your big beautiful, messy life.